High school graduation gift amount? (2024)

Hi all, looking for thoughts on how to decide how much to give as a gift to a high school graduate? I am related to the graduate (nephew/niece), but not close. We do not exchange birthday gifts or holiday gifts and we do not celebrate special occasions together. I am weighing closeness and also precedence as I have 10+ nieces/nephews who are younger and yet to graduate. When my children graduate from high school, I do not anticipate receiving any gift/card from their family. In my mind, I am giving a gift to recognize the milestone and share general well wishes and not for future reciprocity.

I was thinking $100, $150, or $200. What are any suggestions on an appropriate amount? Or thoughts on approaches to decide? I realize gift giving involves philosophy, values, preferences, and there is no single right answer. Looking to see how others think about it...and what suggestions others may have?

Even $100 is more than generous. Every family is different but even $25 or $50 would be plenty and unexpected in my family when you are not close to them. With that many nieces and nephews you will likely also be giving them wedding gifts some say where a higher amount might be appropriate.

Hubub wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 10:40 pmI am weighing closeness and also precedence as I have 10+ nieces/nephews who are younger and yet to graduate. When my children graduate from high school, I do not anticipate receiving any gift/card from their family.

The more you give the more awkward it will be for your relatives to decide what, or if, to give when your kids graduate since you are setting a precedent when you give their kids gifts.

Your nieces and nephews might be very happy to get a larger check but their parents may inwardly grimace a bit since they may feel that they will need to reciprocate some day.

Watty wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 12:05 am
Your nieces and nephews might be very happy to get a larger check but their parents may inwardly grimace a bit since they may feel that they will need to reciprocate some day.

That's half the fun.

I would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give $50-$100 for college graduation regardless whether a party is involved, depending on how close you are to the graduate. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Edit: For clarity.

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Sorry, my message wasn't clear, I will update the post. The graduation party was referring to high school graduation only. I have been to one college graduation party only.

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

See Also

Understanding High School Diplomas: Different Types of High School Diploma/Degree - USCIHow much money should I gift someone for high school graduation?High School Graduation Gift Ideas | StageClip

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

That’s the point saves money that way . Just say I’ll give you a bigger gift at your college party which never happens.

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Are high school graduation parties a thing? I have 6 siblings and 34 cousins that are all high school graduates; pretty certain I've never been to one.

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 11:37 am

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Are high school graduation parties a thing? I have 6 siblings and 34 cousins that are all high school graduates; pretty certain I've never been to one.

I have attended several such parties.

Hubub wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 10:40 pmHi all, looking for thoughts on how to decide how much to give as a gift to a high school graduate? I am related to the graduate (nephew/niece), but not close. We do not exchange birthday gifts or holiday gifts and we do not celebrate special occasions together. I am weighing closeness and also precedence as I have 10+ nieces/nephews who are younger and yet to graduate. When my children graduate from high school, I do not anticipate receiving any gift/card from their family. In my mind, I am giving a gift to recognize the milestone and share general well wishes and not for future reciprocity.

I was thinking $100, $150, or $200. What are any suggestions on an appropriate amount? Or thoughts on approaches to decide? I realize gift giving involves philosophy, values, preferences, and there is no single right answer. Looking to see how others think about it...and what suggestions others may have?

$100 is a great gift. I’d think any gift/thought would be appreciated.

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 6:43 amOh gifting threads. I didn't know giving gifts to family members you aren't close to for graduation was even a thing. I can tell you I got $0 total for high school/undergrad/MS/PhD graduations and my youngest sister (who graduated high school in '21) also got $0, but my anecdotes are irrelevant. Answers are going to be all over the place, so just give whatever you feel comfortable with.

I was working in a customer facing position back in college - when I graduated two separate customers shocked the heck out of me, one gave me a fifty dollar bill. The other customer used to drive a city bus for a living, he drove the line I took to high school and he remembered me from that period of my life. He gave me a hundred dollar bill.

To this day, I never forgot that or their names even though it’s been decades since I last spoke to them.

The point is, never underestimate the value of a gift especially one that’s not expected by the recipient. People tend not to forget how you made them feel. I’ve paid it forward over the years and I still appreciate shocking them the way I had been.

Grt2bOutdoors wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 12:22 pm

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 6:43 amOh gifting threads. I didn't know giving gifts to family members you aren't close to for graduation was even a thing. I can tell you I got $0 total for high school/undergrad/MS/PhD graduations and my youngest sister (who graduated high school in '21) also got $0, but my anecdotes are irrelevant. Answers are going to be all over the place, so just give whatever you feel comfortable with.

I was working in a customer facing position back in college - when I graduated two separate customers shocked the heck out of me, one gave me a fifty dollar bill. The other customer used to drive a city bus for a living, he drove the line I took to high school and he remembered me from that period of my life. He gave me a hundred dollar bill.

To this day, I never forgot that or their names even though it’s been decades since I last spoke to them.

The point is, never underestimate the value of a gift especially one that’s not expected by the recipient. People tend not to forget how you made them feel. I’ve paid it forward over the years and I still appreciate shocking them the way I had been.

Absolutely, but OP said nothing about the recipient other than they are not close to them, and do not share holidays or otherwise exchange gifts with them for any reason. OP should give if they want and what they want, not out of some feeling of guilt or obligation (which it comes across to me as).

While I don't consider myself a particularly good or generous gift-giver, when my oldest grandson graduated from high school this past spring he'd already been accepted to a university and received an excellent scholarship.

Without earmarking it as a gift for HS graduation or college acceptance, I gave him enough of a gift to buy 5 shares of VTI (etf) with instructions on how to call Vanguard and set up an account (the details are not important for this thread). He's a smart kid, listened to his grandfather (me), and made it happen. He's tech-savvy and did all this on his phone, I think.

I would not have been as generous with someone who is not as close to me.

Interesting thread. Thanks for the question. Paying attention to the responses.

I have 3 first cousins and as a kid, we always celebrated holidays together. The first two cousins had a combined total of 6 children and I received Graduation Open House invitations from those two cousins and I gave the 6 kids (first cousins once removed) money gifts.

My 3rd first cousin married late and his only child was graduated from HS in 2023. That first cousin once removed is 8 years younger than the other kids. I had expected to receive a graduation announcement but didn't. I don't know if my cousin sent grad announcements or had a party for his child. I had budgeted a financial graduation gift for this kid. I will see the kid (young man) at Christmas and I'm trying to decide whether to give him the money at Christmas. (We will not be exchanging Christmas gifts so this would clearly be a grad present)

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 11:37 am

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Are high school graduation parties a thing? I have 6 siblings and 34 cousins that are all high school graduates; pretty certain I've never been to one.

At least in my area, they are quite common. In fact, we are already prepping for my oldest child's high school graduation party this spring. Here, they typically are an all afternoon affair where the graduate and proud parents set up chairs and tents outside and greet a ever changing cast of people as they go from one party to the next. Usually cake and punch/beer is provided by the parents while the graduate dutifully receives your envelope with monetary gift and in exchange talks about their plans for the fall. Oh, and there is typically a poster board display of childhood pictures and awards won by the graduate so you can humble brag.

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 2:28 pm

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 11:37 am

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Are high school graduation parties a thing? I have 6 siblings and 34 cousins that are all high school graduates; pretty certain I've never been to one.

At least in my area, they are quite common. In fact, we are already prepping for my oldest child's high school graduation party this spring. Here, they typically are an all afternoon affair where the graduate and proud parents set up chairs and tents outside and greet a ever changing cast of people as they go from one party to the next. Usually cake and punch/beer is provided by the parents while the graduate dutifully receives your envelope with monetary gift and in exchange talks about their plans for the fall. Oh, and there is typically a poster board display of childhood pictures and awards won by the graduate so you can humble brag.

Out of curiosity, I texted my brother who has a daughter who is graduating in June. He's in California (where I'm originally from) and we're in Utah. "We may be coming to visit next summer, is X having a graduation party?" His response: "What? Why?"

The biggest lesson I've learned on this board in over a dozen years is that "norms" are not really a thing outside your culture/circle; do not assume that someone else's experience is anything like yours. So many things I see on this board are things I never even considered were "a thing", but I may be the weird one.

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 2:37 pm

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 2:28 pm

stoptothink wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 11:37 am

lthenderson wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:09 am

student wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:58 amI would likely give nothing but if there is a graduation party and I am invited, then $50. I would give more for college graduation. Personally, I feel that high school graduation is a given, and no celebrations or gifts are needed.

Are college graduation parties even a thing? I've been invited many times to help so and so celebrate their high school graduation but I can't think of a single time I've been asked to celebrate a college graduation.

Are high school graduation parties a thing? I have 6 siblings and 34 cousins that are all high school graduates; pretty certain I've never been to one.

At least in my area, they are quite common. In fact, we are already prepping for my oldest child's high school graduation party this spring. Here, they typically are an all afternoon affair where the graduate and proud parents set up chairs and tents outside and greet a ever changing cast of people as they go from one party to the next. Usually cake and punch/beer is provided by the parents while the graduate dutifully receives your envelope with monetary gift and in exchange talks about their plans for the fall. Oh, and there is typically a poster board display of childhood pictures and awards won by the graduate so you can humble brag.

Out of curiosity, I texted my brother who has a daughter who is graduating in June. He's in California (where I'm originally from) and we're in Utah. "We may be coming to visit next summer, is X having a graduation party?" His response: "What? Why?"

The biggest lesson I've learned on this board in over a dozen years is that "norms" are not really a thing outside your culture/circle; do not assume that someone else's experience is anything like yours. So many things I see on this board are things I never even considered were "a thing", but I may be the weird one.

You aren't. I have experienced the same thing.

High school graduation parties are common enough around our parts (Chicago suburb) that our three children had two full weekends in May where they did the party circuit. 6-8 parties each day, both Saturdays and Sundays the week before and the week after graduation. Mostly informal bbqs the kids went around to in packs, taking pics, eating a bit and going on to the next one. Class friends, sport team friends, boy/girl friends....it adds up quickly.

As parents, we sent along a congratulations card with a check for $20.23 to each celebrant whose party our child(ran) attended. A lot of fun for all the kids. All together ~$450 given as graduation gifts over the two weekends.

We did smaller celebrations for our children with their close friends and friends' parents - a lunch or dinner out for between 10-15 people total. Their friends/friends' family gave them more personal gifts (framed pics of the kids together, personalized college logo travel mugs, etc).

For family members, we usually give between $100-200 for graduations. Close family members, significantly more.

FIRWYW wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 11:03 pmVast majority of gifts we received for our grad were $20.23 if that helps

I have two cousins that have multiple kids each. I always received a HS graduation announcement for all their kids which was responded with a $50 check with card in the mail from me. $50 seems to be a fair amount for a kid I only see once a year at the family reunions, and I doubt they even know my name. Needless to say, I was somewhat perturbed when my DD received a check for $20.20 from each of my cousins when she graduated HS. While the $20.xx gesture seems "cute & whimsy" to the sender, IMO it is a low amount considering a graduation picture with announcement costs +$5 or more to send out. Why bother????

Edit: Just noticed that one poster suggested the $20.xx gesture for friends of their children when attending a grad party. While my response was more personnel related to family responses to announcements, I am somewhat won over to the gesture in their example.

AllMostThere wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 3:03 pm

FIRWYW wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 11:03 pmVast majority of gifts we received for our grad were $20.23 if that helps

I have two cousins that have multiple kids each. I always received a HS graduation announcement for all their kids which was responded with a $50 check with card in the mail from me. $50 seems to be a fair amount for a kid I only see once a year at the family reunions, and I doubt they even know my name. Needless to say, I was somewhat perturbed when my DD received a check for $20.20 from each of my cousins when she graduated HS. While the $20.xx gesture seems "cute & whimsy" to the sender, IMO it is a low amount considering a graduation picture with announcement costs +$5 or more to send out. Why bother????

As someone confused by this entire norm, that's a good question. Announcements and cards of all kinds are now sent electronically; my sister's recent wedding did not have physical announcements (they were emailed), many of the Christmas cards we received were electronic and ours is shared on social media by my wife and then she'll text it to others not on social media, etc. Easier, cheaper, and less risky (possibility it does not get received because USPS sucks). I wouldn't take the time, expense, and risk to send a physical announcement (not to mention the waste of resources - they just get tossed eventually)...then again I would never expect some sort of gift for high school graduation either.

High school graduation parties are a big event where I live, which is one of the wealthiest counties in the U.S. (#7, give or take 1.) So as you might guess, all of the kids are well above average (sarcasm, in case it's not obvious.) Their many accomplishments must be celebrated. Grads are invited to multiple graduation parties the week of graduation. Some parents spend more on graduation parties than we spent on our wedding.

We give generously to close relatives. In the past, we've received graduation party invitations from relatives that we don't really know. In that case, we just send a congratulations card from the dollar store.

Hubub wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 10:40 pmHi all, looking for thoughts on how to decide how much to give as a gift to a high school graduate? I am related to the graduate (nephew/niece), but not close. We do not exchange birthday gifts or holiday gifts and we do not celebrate special occasions together. I am weighing closeness and also precedence as I have 10+ nieces/nephews who are younger and yet to graduate. When my children graduate from high school, I do not anticipate receiving any gift/card from their family. In my mind, I am giving a gift to recognize the milestone and share general well wishes and not for future reciprocity.

I was thinking $100, $150, or $200. What are any suggestions on an appropriate amount? Or thoughts on approaches to decide? I realize gift giving involves philosophy, values, preferences, and there is no single right answer. Looking to see how others think about it...and what suggestions others may have?

I graduated in 1969 and it seems like almost everyone gave me $2, which felt like a lot to me. Got a total of $100, which seemed like an enormous sum to me. Minimum wage was about $1.60 an hour then.

That $2 is now equivalent to $16.73 today.

I do know that in 1969 that Lee / Wrangler jeans sold for $4 while Levis sold for $5. So those $2 gifts paid for 50% of the former and 40% of the latter.

Same Levis: https://www.amazon.com/Levis-Regular-Me ... th=1&psc=1

Currently sell for $41.70 so that $16.73 today would still pay for about 40% of the cost of the Levis.

I send $50 - $75 to anyone who bothers to send me a graduation announcement via USPS. If they do an electronic announcement, I don't send them anything more than an online "like". I have 16 nieces and nephews. My partner has nine + many younger cousins.

When I graduated, I felt lucky to get $20 from my aunt.

I prefer to give goods instead of cash. For relatives graduating high school, you can give something towards their college life: furniture, decoration, etc.

Of course, all goods have known cash equivalent, but its 1 step away from a hard value.

I think $50-$100 is generous.

I was unusually lucky. My grandfather gave me $2000 for college. We were very close and he was a large presence in my life.

I received cards from a variety of other relatives with $5 or so . Graduated in 1975.

For my nephews and nieces, I gave each of them $500 for books in the first semester of their freshman year.

For more distant relatives, I have given $50-100 if my wife or I had a relationship with them.

I am putting aside $10k for two young guys who recently lost their father at age 12 and 8 as we have a moral responsibility to support widows and orphans.

jlawrence01 wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 11:28 amFor my nephews and nieces, I gave each of them $500 for books in the first semester of their freshman year.

For more distant relatives, I have given $50-100 if my wife or I had a relationship with them.

I am putting aside $10k for two young guys who recently lost their father at age 12 and 8 as we have a moral responsibility to support widows and orphans.

Kudos to you for planning to help the 12 year old and 8 year old. That is inspiring.

I would go with whatever amount you feel comfortable paying now. If something happens and you cannot pay the same amount for graduations down the road, then so be it. In other words, I would not feel any concern about setting a precedent. This is a gift, not a future obligation.

I personally do not feel that either $100 or $200 is too much for this situation.

Hubub wrote: ↑Thu Dec 21, 2023 7:12 pmthanks for the thoughts...I agree that I shouldn't worry about precedent as honestly, some of my other nephew and nieces have very different financial circ*mstances. My own situation and relationships may also change over time. I do feel a little sheepish that it is late since graduation was in last spring, but I think most people would welcome a late gift versus none at all.

I'm certain the graduate would appreciate some random cash, but what made you consider this 6-months after they graduated

AllMostThere wrote: ↑Wed Dec 20, 2023 3:03 pm

FIRWYW wrote: ↑Tue Dec 19, 2023 11:03 pmVast majority of gifts we received for our grad were $20.23 if that helps

I have two cousins that have multiple kids each. I always received a HS graduation announcement for all their kids which was responded with a $50 check with card in the mail from me. $50 seems to be a fair amount for a kid I only see once a year at the family reunions, and I doubt they even know my name. Needless to say, I was somewhat perturbed when my DD received a check for $20.20 from each of my cousins when she graduated HS. While the $20.xx gesture seems "cute & whimsy" to the sender, IMO it is a low amount considering a graduation picture with announcement costs +$5 or more to send out. Why bother????

Edit: Just noticed that one poster suggested the $20.xx gesture for friends of their children when attending a grad party. While my response was more personnel related to family responses to announcements, I am somewhat won over to the gesture in their example.

All good. I just was listing what we got. Close family gets $100 from us, more distant $50. Most of my family gave us 0, but I actually don’t mind since we are so much better off than them. We also get a ton of announcements from people we don’t know very well b/c they know we are better off and I think are just spreading around hoping for big gifts. My wife argues $20 for them