It is always a delight to read your questions and responses to my “Secrets to Lovely Living!” Just recently, I was asked about the protocol for a “graduation announcement versus an invitation,” hence my topic du jour!
A graduation invitation is different from a graduation announcement. The former is requesting your attendance at the actual ceremony, and the latter is acknowledging your academic accomplishment…cheers to graduating!
A Graduation Invitation:
If you receive a graduation invitation, it is requesting your physical attendance at the graduation commencement. It is typically mailed six weeks prior to the graduation date, or a save-the-date card can be sent up to three months ahead. This advance notice is helpful for out-of-town guests to make their travel arrangements.
Do not take offense if you did not receive an invitation. Due to the constraint of limited school seating, invitations are mainly intended for immediate family and close relatives.
Respond to the R.s.v.p. as soon as possible, because tickets are limited. If you cannot attend, the graduate can then invite another close family member.
Graduation invitations are similar to wedding invitations. If the school provides you with the invitation, along with two envelopes, write the address on the outer envelope, using as few abbreviations as possible, i.e., Street, Avenue, Connecticut. The inner envelope only states the guest’s name: Mr. and Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. or, for a relative, simply, Uncle Herb. Use black ink, although blue ink is acceptable too.
A Graduation Announcement:
Since an announcement is not an invitation to attend the commencement, the announcement is sent after the actual graduation ceremony has taken place! They can be mailed the day after, or up to two weeks, after the ceremony. A graduation announcement does not include an invitation to a party because the party will have already taken place after the ceremony.
Graduation Party:
If you are hosting a graduation party, then you can invite whomever you wish. The sky's the limit! Party invitations should be mailed separately, and not inserted into the graduation invitation. It is a thoughtful idea to give a “start and end time” so that the graduate and their friends can also plan to attend other parties.
Graduation Gifts:
If you receive a graduation announcement, you are not obligated to send a gift. Of course, the graduate would appreciate your kind acknowledgment with either a congratulatory note or… better yet, a gift!
If you receive an invitation to the graduation ceremony, a gift is expected. Either send a gift and request that it be delivered near or on the graduation date, or give your gift to the graduate on the day of the commencement.
It is always nice to ask the parent’s advice on what to give. Consider ordering something that can be engraved with their name, or school, and a date, or give something they can use after graduation for their apartment/house. Lovely stationery that can be used for thank you notes, or an exceptional pen, is another idea! Sending flowers to the graduate on the day of the graduation is also thoughtful. A check or gift certificate is appropriate too.
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no:To send an announcement to anyone who has never met the graduate.
What is done:The announcement should be sent to people the graduate knows, not just the parent's friends or Christmas card list. Rule of thumb: whomever receives an announcement should be able to recognize the graduate and vice versa!
No-no:To have a gift registry included on the invitation.
What is done:The guest will inquire if you have a registry or a particular store that you adore.
No-no:For the graduate to only talk to their friends at their graduation party.
What is done:The graduate should make an effort to talk to all of the guests attending their ceremony and party.
No-no:To send an email thank you note for graduation gifts.
What is done:A hand-written thank-you note is required for any graduation gift received, preferably within 48 hours, but up to two weeks, after receiving the gift.
And, don’t forget to pop a cork of champagne for the accomplished graduate!
XX
Holly
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